It seems to me that every grief has a value, such that if I don't know the deceased person well then I don't grieve very much but if I do know the person well then the grief is both prolonged and deep. For Terri my grief is catastrophic. I am told that being busy or distracting myself is good but, surely, if I forget to grieve for Terri for even an hour then I devalue my grief for her: isn't that betrayal? I owe it to her to grieve; it is my duty to grieve; but above all I want to grieve.