Mrs Teresa Dawn Rayden née Bennett

Terri had an almost childlike, innocent zest for life that most of us lost years ago: in any room Terri was the ‘spark’ of enthusiasm and happiness that inspired
others, making them happy too.

Terri was born to Rosalie Stroud on 15 th February 1959 in Mainstone Avenue,
Cattedown, Plymouth, the home of her maternal grandfather, Thomas Stroud and
grandmother, Beatrice (Beat) whom she adored. On the loss of her grandfather, the family moved with Beat to a flat in Cornwall St., Devonport where she and her
sister, Sue, her bothers Robert, Paul, Andrew and Steven lived happily with her uncle Reggie, and aunts Margaret and Shirley – ten in all. Terri remembered swimming in the sea at North corner at the foot of Cornwall Street and also in the pool at Mount Wise, supervised by Aunt Jean.

At the age of 14 Terri would leave Devonport school at ten to four in the afternoon to run to the Royal Fleet Club where she worked as a waitress and cook, often until after midnight and even later at weekends. Somehow Terri found time to work as a volunteer nurse at the Devonport hospital and to join the girls’ Sea Cadets (HMS Ark Royal). She didn’t stop working until she was too ill to do so 43 years later.

After school she worked as a croupier at the Grand Casino in Union St. where she met Lyn Rider, her partner for 30 years and lifelong business partner and friend. Terri & Lyn lived in St Germans then at St Winnols, a large house near Polbathic with Lyn’s family.

In about 1981 Terri and Lyn bought The Old Post Office in Wellingore, Lincolnshire which they worked very hard to renovate, improve and grow as a convenience store business. Terri was always capable, turning her hand to plastering, repairing and building.

About 8 years later they sold the business to move back West. They lived in a
caravan at Notter Bridge for about a year while they searched for a business to buy. At this time they both had a respite form work, playing with their boat on the river.

In 1990 Terri and Lyn bought Trafalgar Stores in Devonport Road, near Stoke Village, another convenience store, although Terri would have preferred tea room or cafe. They lived above the shop. In 1995 they bought an apartment at Fort Picklecombe. With Terry running the shop and Lyn renovating the flat, Terri and Lyn had no free time together, so decided to live separately, Lyn over the shop and Terri at the flat. Terri travelled from the Fort to the shop every weekday where she worked 9-5 but neither of them could take time for holidays.

Terri ran the social club at the fort for many years: she was the ‘life and soul’ of it,
doing most of the work with little thanks. She had a speedboat at Picklecombe for
several years. Terri loved boating, kayaking and swimming. Terri met her good
friend Helen Marks at the Fort. Meanwhile, Terri had been attending dancing classes at Tanner Jays with another friend, Cathy: she loved dancing.

Although they had seen each other around the Fort for several years beforehand, it wasn’t until 2006 that Brian, an Officer of Customs & Excise, became her partner (and future husband), with his own apartment at the Fort. Terri and Brian bought a caravan that they kept at Newton Ferrers where they enjoyed walking and boating on the river together. About this time their good friend Geoff & Sue Rhodes came to the fort and a group started to go to coffee mornings at The Institute, Cawsand, on Saturdays. Terri also became Brian’s Ambulance First Responder ‘buddy’ – being called out frequently at night then having to go to work early next morning, but she never complained.

Terri has always been a Christmas girl, making an enormous effort to make each
Christmas special and putting up a large tree with hundreds of glass baubles (no
plastic). She also made her own Christmas decorations. She talked about changing her name to Terry Christmas!

Just before Christmas 2011 Terri and Brian went on a Christmas cruise on the Black Watch to Brugge (Bruges) and Hamburg with their good friends Geoff and Sue Rhodes and Ronnie, Lyn’s sister. It was her first real holiday. Helen, who organised the cruise, couldn’t come because she was giving birth to Eva. Terri and Eva became close.

In May 2014 Terri and Brian spent a very happy week on the Isles of Scilly with their good friend Helen and her daughter, Eva. Terri loved St Agnes most, always wanting to return there.

In September 2014, after Brian’s flat was flooded in the storms of February that year, Terri & Brian bought the lodge at Whitsand Bay together and were very happy.

In June 2015 Terri became so ill she had a serious operation to by-pass a large ulcer blocking her stomach, but, unfortunately, the ulcer was not only cancerous, but the cancer spread. Despite two long periods of chemotherapy, the cancer spread further. During this time Terri remained very positive even when she was ill and the chemo sessions relentless: she never complained or gave up.

On 16th May 2016 Terry & Brian married at Plymouth registry office
Brian is proud to call Terry his wife, Mrs Rayden.

During the last year of her life Terri took up her hobby of crafts with even more enthusiasm, astonishingly talented and skilled even when her fingers were numb from the chemo. Typically, she worked hard until she couldn’t sit up anymore, making crafts to sell for the Derriford Oncology fair in August – and still talking about the Christmas she knew wouldn’t really come for her!

Unfortunately, on 28th May Terri became very ill again during the first night of a trip to the Isles of Scilly so she and Brian had to be evacuated by helicopter to Derriford hospital, Plymouth. Both were bitterly disappointed not to return to St Agnes: Terri refusing to leave at first. Brian brought Terri home to the lodge on 3 rd June but she passed away there on 16th June 2016. Brian nursed her constantly for 12 days with the help of Lyn, Cathy, Helen, Ronnie, Sue & Geoff, and many NHS & Tamar Care nurses.

Terri was the vivacious ‘spark’ of enthusiasm and happiness wherever she was, loved by everyone and without a flaw in her personality; always doing something, often for other people, kind, generous, reliable and non-judgemental of others.

The spark has gone: We miss her.
Terri’s spirit lives on at her lodge and everywhere she knew.

Without You

So easy to say

So infinitely hard to do